librarian-amy:

scanlan:

susiephone:

wearevengeancenow:

nerdgasrnz:

inspectorwired:

movie tropes that will never get old to me:

  • a thing happens + two people exchanging money in the back
  • fourth wall breaking
  • “give up all your weapons” and that one guy that spends the entire evening taking his weights worth out his pockets
  • *a terribly loud crash* meowing/ car sirens heard offscreen
  • alternatively: a terribly loud crash and one of the characters going “oops” in the most casual voice
  • “fuck you” “well if you insist”

#alternatively alternatively: *terribly loud crash w/ sirens and cat screeching*#person: *off camera* ‘I’M OKAY’ (via @zenlida)

character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X

  • the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
  • people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
  • alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
  • bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
  • someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
  • choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
  • the “hands go down” trope
  • example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*

how could all y’all forget “ACT NATURAL!”

stedilnik:

headmatesandrebloggedart:

anti-sjw-movement:

dadpat-tactual:

medic981:

stedilnik:

my favourite thing about Mt.Everest is that it’s the only place on earth where you have to navigate a literal field of dead bodies of people who failed to do the exact thing you’re trying to do at that moment

Not the only place.

They mean that the bodies are still there…

Not only are they still there but they’re used as markers so that climbers know where they’re going.

Host: so the climbers like: there’s old Bobby with his ugly sweater, we must be at the top!

close

it’s actually “old green boots”

image

robotmango:

awed-frog:

robotmango:

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast – this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun