nicejewishguy:

lmaonade:

suppermariobroth:

There is a design parallel between the Mario Bros. and the princesses traditionally paired up with them. The number of eyelashes on Princess Peach’s eyes – six – matches the number of curved segments in Mario’s mustache. Likewise, Princess Daisy has two eyelashes on each eye, which matches Luigi’s two-segment mustache. Whether this is a coincidence or a deliberate design choice is unknown.

i hate this blog for bringing this to my attention. i’m not going to be able to think about literally anything else ever again. i’m going to tell all of my friends about this every time mario is brought up at all. fuck you

so much hate

imma jack off to this

mindfulwrath:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

vicious mockery is my favorite spell in dungeons and dragons because like

A) it does decent damage

B) it’s a cantrip

so canonically, a talented musician can murder commonfolk by hurling a single insult at them (average damage at 17+ level is 10, max 16.). imagine a chaotic evil bard who becomes a serial killer and the local guards are afraid to pursue him because you might go up and say “you’re under arrest” but then he just retorts ‘your mom is under arrest” and you fucking die on the spot

that same musician, if he can manage to successfully insult the world’s most fearsome ancient dragon 55 times without dying first… it dies. a process which would still take only about 11 minutes (assuming the bard has a spell DC of 19, meaning the dragon would fail about 50% of the saves.)

“i went up against a red dragon solo but IT was the one who got ROASTED lmao”

niwandajones:

slipstreamborne:

I saw Zootopia last night and as I drove home all I could think about was how the hell the police investigated crime that took place in habitats designed for smaller animals.

Like their smallest recruit literally towers over the citizens of the rodent habitat.  What the fuck is a polar bear going to do if a vole gets murdered?  Forget all of the fine tools needed to dust for prints, does the poor grieving widow vole now have to deal with being homeless because the only way the ZPD could photograph the crime scene was to literally rip her roof off? 

I bet you that’s why the mafia is a literal rat pack and a shrew is the most feared crime boss in town.  Who else is going to protect your gaggle of little adorable hamster children when your businesshamster husband gets caught cooking the books to try and pay off his hamster gambling debt and some guinea pig bookie comes to literally shake your family down for the cash?  

Oh my gods now Mr. Big makes sense.

mrlevelingthinner:

draumbooty:

swedebeast:

draumbooty:

My buddy used to know this guy in high school that would watch porn before every wrestling match he was in. He didn’t beat the meat. Didn’t even play with it. Sat fully clothed and watched violent ass hardcore for like half an hour.

He won almost every match.

Turns out being sexually aroused with no satisfaction makes your testosterone go into overdrive and turns you into a fuckin beast for like 15 minutes.

I do it now everytime I go to the gym. Never had better workouts.

Imagine being the guy figuring this out for the first time.

if you dont nut you unlock superpowers kids

having a raging erection while wrestling is also a great form of psychological warfare

thanks-for-the-scarf:

gojiro:

Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.

However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.

All I can think about is a vampire used to not seeing their reflection in mirrors for centuries, and one day they are just walking along and unknowingly pass a mirror backed with aluminum and THEY NEARLY SHIT THEMSELVES.

drtanner:

thischick25:

tardishobo:

IM LAUGIHNG HARDER THAN EVER RIGHT THIS SECOND

Reblogging this again because Chris just made me realize that sheep are so stupid that I can’t even think like them:

These sheep? They are actually running away from the car.

They are so stupid that they’re following each other in a circle around the thing they are running from.

SHEEPNADO