amuzed1:

saito-91:

thenamesdiondra:

cynosurecosplay:

batter-sempai:

sueanoi:

pardonmewhileipanic:

bankuei:

meqabitch:

theryanproject:

futureblackpolitician:

cloacacarnage:

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

yahenni:

yeeeem:

roachpatrol:

pluspluspangolin:

sigmaleph:

responsible-reanimation:

thesleepiestboy:

dadcore420:

redfurniture:

spacebattles:

I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”

You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!

Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??

I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong

I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy

I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated

In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances

So I Figured This Was Jam But Boy Howdy Was I Jumping To Some Erroneous Goddamn Conclusions

this not soup

Breadn’t

sindri42:

natural–blues:

justnuts:

democracyandassassination:

hawk-and-handsaw:

reverse hades/persephone, where the young daughter of summer uses plant magic to ensnare the lord of darkness and keep him prisoner in a beautiful garden above ground. Eventually, enchanted by her cleverness and wild youth he agrees to eat six pomegranate seeds and stay with her for half of every year. 

# ID READ THE FUCK OUT OF THAT # HE TRIES BEING ALL IMPOSINGLY MIGHTY AND WRATHFUL WHILE PERSPHONE JUST GOES ON WATERING THE FLOWERS OUTSIDE HIS CAGE # HE PETITIONS TO AT LEAST GET SOME DEATHBELL AND NIGHTSHADE AND ASPHODEL GROWING IN THERE BUT IT’S ALL LOTUSES AND SUNFLOWERS AND APPLES # AND LIKE CORN EVERYWHERE HE FUCKING HATES CORN # THEY COMPROMISE ON POMEGRANATES (x)

It’d be even funnier if the other gods show up all “Persephone, hey, you got the lord of death in there so no one’s dying anymore and the world is getting too full—” “Not my problem”

@kelkat9

This would of course lead to a word in which there is no winter, but people can only die for six months out of the year. Which is a heck of a setting for all kinds of story.

legolokiismighty:

louisamayanniecat:

silentthevoice:

Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun

He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.

dude

I loVE IT!

seananmcguire:

lizawithazed:

roachpatrol:

kiddthemaniac:

when-the-reindeer-comes-home:

bolto:

white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english* 

Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like “Whomsoever enters this room, they shall… well, this word is like… literally it means ‘unbecome,’ but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and—wait, when was this carved?  was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century.  This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?”

“You guys, I’ve gotta be honest, okay? This thing’s written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I’ve only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here…I can’t even tell if it’s some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase…whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means.”

‘this is written in ancient sumerian. it’s about… uh… well that word is… uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower.’

“okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means ‘horse’ – and the context is really not helping”

“You know what?  This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding let’s just leave.”