WHAT THE FUCK I ONLY JUST WROTE IN AN ARTICLE HOW THE CARNIVOROUS SHELLED SLUG IS ONE OF MY DREAM ANIMALS TO MEET BUT THAT THEY’RE “SELDOM SEEN” AND THEN LAST NIGHT A BABY ONE WAS JUST RIGHT OUTSIDE FOR REAL
HOW
I WENT MY WHOLE LIFE PROBABLY INVESTIGATING EVERY TINY SLUG THAT CROSSED MY PATH TO SEE IF MAYBE IT WAS ONE OF THESE
1,000,000TH TIMES THE CHARM I GUESS
……Anyway this was the best photo out of dozens, it’s smaller than my thumbnail right now but I’ve seen photos of them looking much, much larger. They eat nothing but earthworms, so I put it in a very small glass tank I have with a bunch of baby-size worms, sorry worms : (
It burrowed and disappeared right away and it’s entirely possible I’ll never even see it come out again but hopefully it might grow if kept fed enough??
And maybe this wasn’t an absurd fluke and they’re relatively easy to find around here?
Actually chances are they aren’t really too rare at all they’re just rarely *noticed* because not many people even know what they are and fewer still are routinely scrutinizing small brownish slugs for the presence of vestigial shells.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!
THEY COME OUT IN THE RAIN ON OUR STREET!
THEY’RE GIANT!
THEY’RE SUCKING UP ALL THE WORMS IN THIS TERRARIUM
I now know for certain these are not rare animals. They’re rarely noticed animals by most people, because most people don’t stop to scrutinize slugs to begin with, let alone in the rain and the dark.
But I wasn’t even trying when I found twenty of them just while running food deliveries Sunday night.
I can already instantly identify these slugs at a glance from even a fair distance. There are common leaves, flower petals and even cigarettes that can look a lot like them but I ALWAYS know.
I was worried about being able to feed the smaller ones but here’s a tiny baby actually eating what was a full grown worm several times its length:
I’m going to set up a much larger tank for these and I wanna decorate and landscape it nicely because all the slugs hide in the light anyway.
I’m really surprised how much enthusiasm there is for this post, even on tumblr I didn’t expect anyone also to find these that interesting…though there’s definitely confusion over why anyone would get this worked up about some slugs.
I guess things like being tiny or slow-moving simply don’t make an animal any less exciting to me than any other, so a carnivorous slug is just as cool to me as a shark or a wolf is to everybody else. Maybe moreso, because these are creatures so totally removed from us. Boneless, nearly blind things hunting their prey in total darkness below the ground, practically aliens living in an entirely different world.
Keeping them in an aquarium feels like having a little piece of that world; or like a tiny dungeon full of weird fantasy monsters.
One thing I’ve still not seen, though, is this:
The big thing on the right here, labeled “ph,” is apparently the pharynx these slugs can “shoot out” to catch an earthworm. The fin-looking end of it labeled “T” is a row of overlapping teeth, like a giant, inflatable chainsaw in the slug’s throat.
I’ve seen them instantaneously snap up a worm at closer range, and it was too fast to make out anything but a blur. For the pharynx to ever be captured on film or photograph would probably require a specialized high speed camera waiting around for exactly the right moment, which is why the only image of the “chainsaw” is this drawing made almost 200 years ago. I can’t even imagine what this must look like and if I ever see it, I’ll have no way to share it. Who knows how long this might remain undocumented outside an antique sketch.
There are just amazing monsters all around you, unnoticed because they’re small and not as “popular” as bigger, flashier things, but they’re all still living weird, intense little struggles and still have their own little mysteries.
You’ll be happy to know I’ve had some of these doing alright in captivity for eight months now, though they don’t do well when there’s more than maybe three or four to a gallon tank.
They even laid some eggs, but none of the eggs hatched, maybe because they’re usually laid far underground under more precise temperature and moisture levels?
“In 2016 Chinese officials confirmed they had lost control of the space station and it would crash to Earth in 2017 or 2018. China’s space agency has since notified the UN that it expects Tiangong-1 to come down between October 2017 and April 2018.
Since then the station’s orbit has been steadily decaying. In recent weeks it has dipped into more dense reaches of Earth’s atmosphere and started falling faster.”
The ESA predicted that fragments could fall over any spot within 43ºN and 43ºS, latitudes which encompass major Asian cities such as Beijing, Tokyo, Bangkok, Singapore and New Delhi.
The Middle East, the African continent, parts of Europe such as Spain and Italy as well as American cities like San Francisco, New York and Miami are also within the latitude range.
The space agency explained that it is not possible to provide more precise landing locations.
You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????
WHAT
okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office.
they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii.
everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it.
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”
I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are strong.”
Realizing it’s not romance that I hate but overdone straight relationships with zero chemistry built on a slew of misogynistic tropes was like a huge revelation for me
I have a story about this.
My revelation regarding this was spurred by a little-known film that actually didn’t do very well in theatres at all, from the early 90s called Corina Corina.
Starring heartthrob of the time Ray Liotta, fresh off his Goodfellas fame and…..Whoopie Goldberg??? as his love interest??????
Bear with me here.
Corina Corina is the story about a man whose wife died, leaving him alone to parent his 8-9 year old daughter alone in what appears to be the late 50s-early 60s. His daughter, Molly, is non-verbal due to the trauma of her mother’s death and is dealing with feelings of isolation as a result of her mourning process. Ray Liotta’s character makes a concentrated effort to be a good dad for her, but it’s real clear that both of them are still dealing with the death of his wife. Because Ray’s character works full time, he needs to find a nanny to watch his girl and pick her up from school. After a couple of terrible experiences (one with a hilarious appearance by Joan Cusack) he decides to hire Whoopie Goldberg.
Whoopie Goldberg’s character is a college educated black woman (in the 50s!!!!) who appears to be doing domestic work because its the only work white 50s America will hire her for. She and Ray’s daughter Molly get along well because she is the first person to take Molly’s decision to be non-verbal seriously and learn an alternate way to communicate with her.
Long story short, Whoopie Goldberg and Ray Liotta fall in love and live happily ever after.
But, more importantly, the way the movie built their love changed the way I was able to process hetero couples on screen forever.
1. First, they were both provided with alternate romance options from the beginning of the movie. Ray was given an extremely attractive white lady love interest, and Whoopie was given an attractive and charming black man love interest. Both of them were given opportunities to return their affection but both pointedly chose not to.
2. They were attracted to each other based on common interest. They both liked the same music, they both bonded over their ability to play the piano, they both loved molly, they both helped encourage each other in their chosen fields (whoopie’s was english, and ray’s was being a songwriter), they both respected each other’s opinions and they both were honest with each other about the circumstances they were in.
3. They were realistic about the issue of a black woman being in a relationship with a white man in the era, and didn’t glide over racial identity issues. Ray made sure that his white neighbors knew that he loved her and didn’t care what they thought. He even explained to his mom that Molly emulating black culture wasn’t shameful and that she should mind her business about the way he felt about Whoopie Goldberg.
4. When Ray confessed his feelings, it was incredibly heartfelt and he was literally crying.
5. They didn’t pursue a romantic relationship until Whoopie wasn’t working for him anymore. And they didn’t gloss over the issue of power disparity in that equation. Ray doesn’t condescend to Whoopie at all through the movie, but once he’s aware he has feelings for her, his new goal is to let her know that he unquestionably considers her his equal both in private and in public And its clear that he’s aware that this is the first thing that must be settled before anything else.
By the time you get to the end of the movie, the entire concept of Ray Liotta being with Whoopie Goldberg seems not only normal, but exceptionally romantic and you’re left wondering why you thought they would be a gross couple to begin with when they’re sO cLeArLy MaDe fOr eAcH oThEr
I now call this the Corina Corina standard.
If a movie has a hetero couple and their relationship isn’t as fleshed out as Ray/Whoopie, I now have difficulty accepting whats occurring.
The concept that two hot straight people who are vaguely near each other just doesn’t do it for me anymore after watching Ray Liotta walk through a black neighborhood in the 50s and knock on Whoopie’s door to beg her to come home to him.
i found my yiff bracelet in my cupboard before and frankly i don’t know how to feel because it invokes my fight or flight response on visual contact
I both want to see it and forget this post exists
It’s also got a nifty story to boot:
When I was about 12, my family and I went on holiday to the Greek isles or something, and there’s this one island called Santorini which was placed lovingly at the top of some stupid high hill. You could either take the at least 400+ stairs to the top, or a rickety ass gondola to the top. we decided to not take the rickety ass gondola, but instead haul obese me up the stairs.
It was like nearly 40 degrees Celsius as we went up the stairs, it sucked. After about 45 minutes of trudging up these stairs and getting booted in the hip by some stupid fuckin’ donkeys, we finally made it to the top, and we were all fucking exhausted, but we wanted to find a cafe before we were going to actually rest.
On the way to the cafe, I saw this shop that sold “custom bracelets and necklaces” for like the equivalent of 5 pounds. Now 12 year old me was this unbearable gremlin of a furry. Y’know, the kind that will let you know within 30 seconds of meeting you that they are a furry, and wouldn’t shut up about anything furry-related ever, so I think you and I both know what kind of custom bracelet 12 year old me was going to buy. I walked into this shop with the biggest fucking shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. Imagine a fat version of young Dylan Sprouse kicking down the door of this old woman’s corner shop and Chad striding towards the counter.
“Just 4 letters. These ones, please” I told the lady, clutching a Y, an I and two F’s in my hand. The poor lady didn’t know any better, she just placed the letter blocks on the string and asked for the money. I walked out of that shop as the most confident little fat blonde kid on the planet. I mean, I wasn’t going to walk up all those stairs and leave empty handed, was I?
I wore that bracelet with pride through the rest of the entire holiday, on the way home and even through the first week of school. But only the first week.
There were a small group of people in my Computing class that knew that I was a furry. Only 3. But they all endured my constant blabbering about nonsensical furry shit, and they were fine with it. Cut to about 5 days after I came back from the holiday, and I was sitting in my computing class, displaying in all glory a colourful bracelet bearing the word “YIFF”, engraved in 4 wooden blocks. People ignored it, my friends thought it was pretty funny and novelty, and so life just went on.
And then it happened.
“Yiff? What’s that?”
I snap around at mach 9, and there was my 40 year old computing teacher, towering over my arm to read the bracelet. The moment that word was uttered from his mouth, my 3 friends shot up and turned around like a pack of bleeding prairie dogs. They were eyes and ears on deck to this conversation. All of that childlike confidence I had gathered from this bracelet was just eviscerated right out of my head and replaced with the realization that I was just wearing a bracelet that just had the furry equivalent of the word “Porn” written on it.
“Uhhhh.. It’s, um… An inside joke.” I muttered desperately, giving death glares to my friends who were on the verge of exploding. The teacher just kinda shrugged his shoulders and moved on with the lesson, but that 10 seconds was fucking petrifying. After the lesson had ended, and we were packing our bags and leaving to go to lunch, I noticed the teacher switch off the projector, and kinda swivel his PC monitor away from the class. Tk. Tk. Tk. Tk. Four key presses from his keyboard and I knew exactly what the fuck was going on. I increased my pace, and darted towards the exit of the classroom.
The last thing I saw before I left was his face. It’s hard to describe, but imagine the face of somebody being confronted by the four horses of the apocalypse, and seeing cutie marks.
He looked at me for a solid half-second. We exchanged eye contact. At this point my life had finished. The old Securipun was dead, and like a fawn born in a wolfden, I fucking legged it. I think we both understood the next day that the day prior was single handedly the most jarring and uncomfortable moment of our entire lives, and that it should never be mentioned again, for the mental state of each other. The bracelet also never saw the life of day again, until I found it in a drawer like an hour ago.
“imagine the face of somebody being confronted by the four horses of the apocalypse, and seeing cutie marks“ has to be my new fovorite line
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