LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT THE 2019 SONIC MOVIE
For starters, SEGA knows Sonic is on thin ice. His footing is shaky at best, though hope has been restored by Mania, Mania Adventures, and the recent hype for the racing game. The company knows that they’ve gotta NAIL these next few releases if they want a shot at restoring some of Sonic’s old glory.
NOW.
I don’t know if you know this, but Sonic’s original creator (Naoto Ohshima), level designer (Hirokazu Yasuhara), and lead programmer (Yuji Naka) have not been involved in the series for many, many years. In fact, Ohshima has refused most interviews regarding the series, and has been working on other projects. Looking at Sonic’s history and the timeline of when the original Sonic Team disbanded, it’s not hard to guess that Ohshima and Naka have not exactly… let’s say, been all too thrilled with where Sonic has gone in recent years.
(And before anyone counters with that interview Ohshima did where he said Sonic has “grown up” and “doesn’t need his power anymore”… I implore you to rewatch that interview and think about Japanese standards of politeness. “Doublespeak” is common in that culture, where things are worded veeeeeery carefully so that they could be taken very positively but betray one’s true thoughts. Ohshima saying that Sonic is who he is today because of all the people who’ve been on the project, stating that Sonic doesn’t need him around anymore… it’s like Ohshima is saying, “I didn’t have anything to do with what happened to Sonic. It’s not my fault.”)
But Ohshima not only did a new EXTENSIVE interview about Sonic this year, 2018… he also went out of his way to draw promotional art for Sonic Mania upon his release. The man must be THRILLED to see the games returning to what originally made them so great.
What’s this got to do with the movie? Well, let’s just hop on over to the movie’s IMDB page, and…
Oh! Oh my!
There are three names on that list that look startlingly familiar!
The O.G. team is back. And they’re helping to write for the movie.
Not to mention, I’m sorry – Jim Carrey? Ben Schwartz?! James Marsden?! Tika Sumpter?! These are all incredibly successful actors! They don’t need to sign on to B-list films – they clearly see something in this film.
To top it all off, what little we DO know about the plot is REMARKABLY similar to the opening setting for Sonic Adventure 2. I doubt it will be a straight adaptation, but I recall reading somewhere (I can’t remember where, and I can’t seem to find it again) that either the director or the head scriptwriter was replaying the Adventure games throughout the script’s writing.
This movie is going to be good.
And if I’m wrong, it’s at least going to be devilishly fun.
“Animals don’t go to war because they’re cinnamon rolls unlike ebil humans uwu” Check-fucking-mate Linda, cephalopods are having trench warfare in the ocean.
They’re literally in the shell age
So…they’re shelling each other?
*takes a long drag on a shitty cigarette* war is shell
Why isn’t anyone even bothering to mention the countless wounded soldiers of this cephalopod war? Many come back missing tentacles and eyes! Some even return home with a bad case of…shellshock
“Floating islands are common in Minnesota; it’s the size of this one that’s causing all the fuss. Sue Galatowitsch, a wetland ecologist at the University of Minnesota, says the island likely weighs at least 1,000 tons and could extend 30 feet below the water. Technically, it’s a floating bog. A natural assemblage of peat moss festooned with cattails and tamarack trees, the bog is more than four acres across—that’s about 64 tennis courts. ‘A bog that size,’ Galatowitsch says, “can kind of do whatever it wants.“
“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos
classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh
“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”
– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize
“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”
– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise
this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis