This is one of the best stories we read in a long time. An arborist AKA a tree caretaker and tree surgeon from Redondo Beach, California had to watch the death of one of his favorite trees, which was ordered by the mayor. Although he lost a great battle, he won the war. Find out how he avenged the death of his 30-year-old pepper tree named Clyde.
His story was recently shared online and has already been shared over 150k times. RIP Clyde.
so i learned yesterday that theres a tiny plot at the corn research/breeding nursery i work at thats full of what the breeders call “zoo corn”??? its like. corn that got mutated by accident when they were breeding and they just kept the lines as separate varieties bc its interesting to see and might come in handy some day (it doesn’t get bred into other stuff or developed, just kept in the zoo plot for display). zoo corn includes:
-”bloody butcher corn”: corn that has red streaks all over the ears
-”rainbow corn”: corn plants that are covered in red streaks
-”glass corn”: the breeders say this exists but they dont have it at our facilities??? its corn thats normal corn but the yellow pigment in the kernels got mutated, so the kernels are literally just translucent
-”lazy corn”: corn plants with the protein that helps keep them upright mutated so they grow straight and then when they reach adulthood, they bend all the way over in graceful arcs. like they’re perfectly fine they’re just having a good time on the ground
-”hosta corn”: its corn but its short and bushy and has square stems instead of round stems
i love my mutated corn babs they are beautiful and good
okay so a lot of people have been asking me for pics of the beautiful mutated corn children!!
first of all, hosta corn:
its about 2 feet tall, idk if you can tell from that pic. its also hard to articulate how square the stems are but i did my best:
then, some rainbow corn. turns out that its more than red streaks (before hunting out the plot itself for these pics i had only heard verbal descriptions of these plants!!!)
i have no idea what this is but he got pretty yellow streaks???
finally, lazy corn. turns out these are not the graceful creatures i was imagining and are actually hilarious
thats. thats what a row of lazy corn looks like??? like they’re actually not dying (except the one on the far left that flopped into the alley and got walked on a little)????? they’re just??? perfectly happy plants just having a great time on the ground???????????????????????????? guys i cant do this
p.s. apparently non-USA countries use “corn” to mean several types of crop so to clarify, these are Maize plants.
me, crouched down in front of my tomato plants, examining a pattern of insect bites on their lower leaves: i’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. i’m going to kill them for you. don’t worry, babies. I’m going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. they’ll die screaming
my neighbor, who i did not realize was also outside, standing behind the fence: oh! okay. you’re talking to the plants. okay.
Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”
“Friend”
Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.
Plants don’t wage war
Ever heard of blackberries?
Yes, plants do wage war
Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else.
I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.
It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.
Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.
And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.
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