lokiofgallifrey:

ask-oncies-jizz:

mr-speedwagon:

ask-oncies-jizz:

got a really good idea for a d&d character i’ll never get to use

You can’t say that and not share your idea.

its a talking horse. you’d think this’d come with some kind of magical backstory about getting turned into one but turns out, they were just born that way. you find out their mother was a centaur, their fauther is a (horse-headed) minotaur, and they have a sister who’s a perfectly normal human

they’re a rogue/thief because nobody ever suspects a horse as the culprit

morthils:

deliciouslycookingrpgideas:

a-daks:

probablybardrpgideas:

probablystrangerpgideas:

probablybardrpgideas:

Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??

you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat

You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions

Once a bard friend rolled a 1 for a seduction and ended up killing a girl and tried to hide the body. He was caught, rolled low on deception and they all thought he was fucking her corpse.
He then tried seducing the guards and rolled low again so all the guards had boners while arresting him and the DM had to sideline the entire game and make up a dungeon for the rest of us to get our stupid bard out of.
But we didn’t. So for like 3 nights the DM essentially ran 2 different games, one of us questing without ol’ corpsefucker and then the adventures of corpsefucker: escape from boner castle.

He seduced his way out, naturally.

A true bard

scottfoss:

awkwanaut:

mamafriesmeal:

letstauntskullgrin:

that-nonbinary-guy:

thestaticguy:

no-mi-torta:

justwinginoverthings:

bobavader:

jonbrnthal:

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

i was born with vape and i will die with vape

i was born the same year as ‘booty call’ and i honestly don’t know how to feel about this

smart phone and corpse flower

thank you 1996

snark and chillax 

One of those makes sense. Thanks 1999.

Genderqueer and instant messaging!!!!!

I feel so old. SIM card, mixtape, gamepad, and – most ironic of all – heteronormative.

I was born alongside JPEG this was my destiny.

“scrunchie” welp lmao

Civil Union, Arm Candy, and Polyamory. 

Alongside the computer terms I expected, 1994 has cisgender, neurotypical, and metrosexual.

uhhh…

(Never heard of a zeptosecond b4 tho)