my fave SCP is Geoff who is basically a regular guy who doesnt even work at the SCP foundation but just happens to keep wandering into high-security parts of the building by accident somehow and escapes containment the same way
like it says its an SCP on probation because they cant prove if he has some supernatural power or if hes just a guy who knows all of the passwords to the SCP foundation
I think my favorite part are the transcripts
“Commander Price: Alright people, it’s go time! I
want suppressing fire on this thing NOW! Neptune squadron, hit it with
everything you’ve got! If this thing gets one claw to the surface, then—
SCP-008-J: Hey, I remember you!
Commander Price: (Exasperated and enraged) FUCK!
SCP-008-J: Can you help me out? I’m a bit turned around. I’m trying to get to Grays Street.
Commander Price: WE’RE 3,000 METERS UNDER THE FUCKING OCEAN!
SCP-008-J: (Produces smartphone) Well that explains why my map won’t load.
Commander Price: WHO THE FLAMING CHRIST ARE YOU!?
SCP-008-J: Geoff, remember? Hey, are you on Facebook? I feel like I keep running into you! We should be friends!”
Geoff is tormenting this poor commander for no reason.
I like the non horror SCPs. Most of the horror ones are ok but the non horror ones are amazing.
My favorite one is a book that when you read it makes you fall asleep then you have an amazing fantasy adventure,
SCP-1230. It doesn’t steal the energy of people, it doesn’t make you die if you die while dreaming, it’s just the most kick ass adventure of your life.
Also it’s sad because the book tries as hard as it can to make people happy but one time this guy who is super into fantasy and stuff used and was asleep for like day and in the dream it was 200 years. The after he got out he killed himself because he just couldn’t take going back to the normal world. When that happened the book grew depressed and sad. The pages were wet as if someone had been crying on them and it keep saying it was sorry.
Eventually a researcher used a sticky note to communicate that he wanted to talk with it. He then fell asleep and met with the manifestation of the book in the dream world, he talked with him and was able to learn what happened and through visiting him and using sticky notes he was able to help it out and it eventually started displaying
“A hero is born” on its pages
again.
I LOVE THAT
One of my favorite SCP’s is this giant, old house that nobody dares to touch because they all think it’s haunted. Eventually, the researchers find that the house isn’t haunted, but hosts an inter-dimensional portal, and some sort of Lovecraftian horror is communicating with the tenants.
He’s not really evil or anything; he’s actually pretty laid back. It’s just that he’s just kind of racist against carbon-based life forms and is really passive-aggressive.
My favorite is the toaster that makes people talk about it in the first person. Even the entirety of the report is written as “I am a toaster. I toast bread just like any other toaster” People don’t even realize they’re doing this and there are no negative side effects they’ll just go right back to normal when they leave the toaster it’s ridiculous
everyone needs to see this video at least once in their life
I think my favorite thing about dogs is that they can, in fact, perceive the tone/mood of music, just as they can with human voices.
I think the best part about this is that there was an actual academic study done to find out what music dogs preferred, they set it up by kenneling dogs and figuring out which kind of music caused them to be more relaxed in the situation, and they found out that most dogs prefer soft rock and reggae.
the DM: Okay, at the end of the hallway is a stone door with no visible locks, latches, or opening mechanisms. Carved into the stone is an inscription that reads, “What is the sound of silence?”
the bard, instantly: ♪ Hello darkness my old friend ♪
DM: …………………Oh my god. I forgot-
bard: ♪ I’ve come to talk with you again ♪
DM: No, that’s not the answer-
bard: ♪ Because a vision softly creeping ♪
DM: Here, I’ve got my notes, let me change the riddle-
bard: ♪ Left its seeds while I was sleeping ♪
DM: Please-
bard, emphatically now: ♪ AND THE VISION THAT WAS PLANTED IN MY BRAIN ♪
DM: IT’S NOT-
bard: ♪ STILL REMAINS ♪
DM: I’M BEGGING-
bard: ♪ WITHIN THE SOUND ♪
DM: PLEASE-
bard: ♪ OF SILENCE ♪
DM, with a visibly broken spirit: …Yeah, okay. The door swings open.
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am
He tried to use an advanced death magic spell to kill a baby. He literally doesn’t know how to do anything without magic. Just drop it out a window my dude, babies are so delicate
a while back my best friend linked me to a thread on homemade My Little Pony transformation hypnosis tapes
that’s a really loaded sentence so let me ease into it
they were like, hour long recordings you were supposed to lay down and listen to and focus on nothing else, that started off with some relaxation techniques then eased into like, “feel your hands becoming hooves. remember pinkie pie’s happy memories. imagine yourself literally becoming pinkie pie. imagine your pink mane. you are literally pinkie pie”
all with the goal of putting you in a mental state where you were convinced you were this cartoon pony. and it was full of people like “wow! this was so relaxing. i felt like i literally Became rarity”
the problem is that human brains are kind of, buggy? so people, especially if they listened to the tapes too much, started like, accidentally going to this mental state they’d created at random inopportune times. the thread was suddenly full of people desperate to know how to stop it because they were turning into rainbow dash in the middle of driving on a highway to work, or whatever
anyway, i’m just burdened with that knowledge forever, now. i think about it a lot
Oh yeah this kinda stuff is news to a lot of people
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